Yup, there's that word again: Change. I am (yet again) changing things up. I can't really say I like changing things up (in my story, real life is a bit different), but it's one of those things that's necessary. I've heard so many people say that the best thing you can do is "Follow your gut" and my gut is telling me that something just isn't right with my story.
Of course, this is the who knows how many-th change I've done and I have yet to even finish my dang story. Ugh. Everyone's journey is different, but I wish mine would find a path and stick to it for a few! This is getting frustrating. I like what I have. I really do like everything that I've thought of. I keep trying to think of ways to make it different but keep the same elements (I'm hoping that will work...) All of this right after I had a breakthrough, too.
When it comes to change, I always wonder: "Do I really need this?"
"Will I know when to stop?"
"When will this finally be right?"
To me, change in my MS is both good and something I dread. It's one of those things I need to learn to learn to accept--and welcome.
I think one of the reasons why change is so hard for me is because that evil little voice that everybody (especially us writers) whispers words that no sane person would ever say to another even in the darkest mood--I hope not, at least. We truly are the hardest on ourselves.
It took Cosmetology school--where I was forced to work with the public for 10hrs each school day--to gain basic confidence in myself. To be able to tell myself, "Yeah, I'm kind of pretty today. Yeah, I can cut hair pretty good--but I can color hair even better. My classmates know a lot, but I know more. I'm actually good."
Until I decided to actually write out a story with the intent to publish, I'd never given my writing a thought. I was the only one who was going to see it (for the most part) so what did it matter? It isn't like that anymore. I've had more doubts about my writing in the past couple months than I have in my entire lifetime. I know I'll gain my confidence back--maybe when all the changes stop??--but until then, I'm just going to keep swimming through the negativity, waiting for the day when the sun'll shine in my brain and the angels come out going "HALLELUJAH"
I wouldn't mind if that happened soon... Just a heads up, brain.
What do you guys think about change? Do you like it? Hate it? And how do you stay confident in your writing? Until tomorrow--D-day!