X is for Xenophobia and X

Ah~ X. I utilize this letter a lot in my MS, haha. Just look at my MC's name! Ax. And X is such a weird letter, too. I mean, it stands for kisses (or is it hugs? I never get that right) and buried treasure locations. Or it can mean that you're wrong and in botany it means an imperfect flower. (You guys totally wanted to know that, right?) Let's not even begin on how many ways there are to pronounce X. It can be silent, make an S, make the 'cks' noise, or it sounds like a Z!

X just can't make up its mind, can it? Oh well!

I would've liked to use xylophone, just cause I think they're fun, but that'd have nothing to do with anything! So, onto xenophobia--something that actually applies to my writing. For those of you unfamiliar with the term (though I don't think there're many?) it means the fear (or hatred) of stangers/foreigners or of their culture/politics. I hope none of us here are true xenophobes! Eek. 

Anyway, I kind of just realized that my MS--unintentionally--deals with xenophobia. Haha, it's pretty funny for me, because I'm not the type to read a book and go "oh, I saw this theme and this theme and blahblahblah" Remember high school english class? Yuck.

But, it was a very pleasant discovery to make. There are so many novels out there that deal with this topic, but I'd like to think that mine is different than those. (We'll see how true that is later!) I've got both sides of the spectrum being dealt with. Losing and gaining the fear. Haha, it's really fun of me to discover!

Have any fun discoveries lately?

K is for KOs and Kids

The more posts there are the less things I can think of! Ahh~ So, in my story I think I've managed to obtain a pretty stable balance between budding romance and violence--and I'm really happy that I've done it because everything in the past was either no romance an action or no action and romance. Finally, a place in the middle! :)

As I've gone through the past day or so, I've begun to wonder if I've maybe made Ax suffer from too many wounds. Two gunshots, spaced out pretty well, and then the climax... where he gets truly... yeah.  I'll let your mind paint that picture. It isn't really that much, but I also don't want to overdo it. I'm not afraid to hurt Ax as long as it's necessary, but I also don't want readers to be like: "OMG Seriously? He's hurt again??"


Not too big of a dilemma, it wouldn't be too hard to take out that second gunshot, but it has some good bonding time after it! Haha.

How's spring (for northern hemisphere) going for all of you? And autumn for the southern half of the world? Those two seasons are my favorite--except for the fact that about 6 weeks in each of them my nights are filled with a whining (and pining) dog. You've all seen Luca. But, we've got another dog in the house--a girl dog. Both of them are au naturale. Every part in tact. (Except for Luca's missing retina in his little eye, but that's a different story.)  If you're thinking "oh, so they aren't neutered" then 10 points and a cookie for you!

So, every 6 months, for 6 weeks, I get to have sleepless nights and spend my day making sure Luca isn't scaring the daylights out of Zoie by trying to get it on when there's not a chance in hell they're going to procreate. (He has really bad aim, btw.)


That's probably enough information about that.

Have a good rest of the day/evening everyone!

(Luca's already whining and it's only 5pm...)

C is for Confidence and Change

Yup, there's that word again: Change. I am (yet again) changing things up. I can't really say I like changing things up (in my story, real life is a bit different), but it's one of those things that's necessary. I've heard so many people say that the best thing you can do is "Follow your gut" and my gut is telling me that something just isn't right with my story.

Of course, this is the who knows how many-th change I've done and I have yet to even finish my dang story. Ugh. Everyone's journey is different, but I wish mine would find a path and stick to it for a few! This is getting frustrating. I like what I have. I really do like everything that I've thought of. I keep trying to think of ways to make it different but keep the same elements (I'm hoping that will work...) All of this right after I had a breakthrough, too.

When it comes to change, I always wonder: "Do I really need this?"
"Will I know when to stop?"
"When will this finally be right?"

To me, change in my MS is both good and something I dread. It's one of those things I need to learn to learn to accept--and welcome.

I think one of the reasons why change is so hard for me is because that evil little voice that everybody (especially us writers) whispers words that no sane person would ever say to another even in the darkest mood--I hope not, at least. We truly are the hardest on ourselves.

It took Cosmetology school--where I was forced to work with the public for 10hrs each school day--to gain basic confidence in myself. To be able to tell myself, "Yeah, I'm kind of pretty today. Yeah, I can cut hair pretty good--but I can color hair even better. My classmates know a lot, but I know more. I'm actually good."

Until I decided to actually write out a story with the intent to publish, I'd never given my writing a thought. I was the only one who was going to see it (for the most part) so what did it matter? It isn't like that anymore. I've had more doubts about my writing in the past couple months than I have in my entire lifetime. I know I'll gain my confidence back--maybe when all the changes stop??--but until then, I'm just going to keep swimming through the negativity, waiting for the day when the sun'll shine in my brain and the angels come out going "HALLELUJAH"

I wouldn't mind if that happened soon... Just a heads up, brain. 

What do you guys think about change? Do you like it? Hate it? And how do you stay confident in your writing? Until tomorrow--D-day!

B is for Break Through and Bad House Guests!

Of course the day after I talk about not being able to get into Ax's head, what does he do? Infiltrate my mind better than Snape or Dumbledore with Legilimency. After ages (or what feels like ages) he has finally started talking. In fact, he hasn't even shut up.

I know it'll take me awhile before I get to know him like I did his predecessor--Axel--but I'm confident that when I do get to that point that nothing will hold me back! I even had a dream about him. And that for me, no matter how ridiculous the dream (and trust me this was ridiculous), means that I've finally gotten an in!

It's really awesome to be able to actually write instead of stare at the screen, give up for a few, go back, type a couple words then repeat the entire process. I think I've written more today than I have all week, and that feels so good!

(I think I've been writing so much that my wrist is sore. Oops?)

On a mini non-writing note, for the past week my family has been helping out a friend (term used loosely) of the family's. This was only a temporary thing to get her back on her feet, a roof over her head while she looks for a new place and yada yada yada. You get the picture, I'm sure.

The agreement for this was 1 week per house and she has to help out at the house as repayment.

What does she do?

You guessed it. Nothing. It isn't really much of a surprise, but it's still a bit aggravating. Luckily, tomorrow is her last day at my house, so things will return to normal soon!

Back to Ax, cause he's far more interesting. I'm finally getting close to the point where he'll get to meet the love interest and I'm so excited! (He is, too, though he doesn't quite know that yet.) Ah! I haven't felt excited to write in awhile. But now that it's here, nothing is going to stop me!

How are you all doing with your writing?

A is for Apologies and Ax

I was convinced to do the A to Z Challenge by Misha this morning, haha. It'll be interesting!

So, first off, sorry! I've been really bad about blogging lately. My mind has been consumed by my manuscript and cranking the ideas out of my head that I've just spaced on posting! Shame on me. That pattern will be broken now. (Especially because of the A-Z Challenge...)

Now, on to the good stuff. Before I changed up my plot, I had my MC's wants and wishes, his personality, his quirks, his motives--I had him figured out. I knew what he was doing, why he was doing it, how he felt about it and I could show it. It was obvious.

But now that the plot is completely different, of course I have to change Ax, right? Right. I can't have the reincarnation of the Askr (first man on earth in Norse mythology) living in a post apocalyptic world. Nor could I have this Ax living in a world where Norse mythology is the main religion of the world.

Maybe it's the difference between writing in 1st person and 3rd person, but, even though I know why he does certain things, and I know what, and how he feels-- it just won't come out. Ax's intentions aren't as transparent as they used to be. I'm sure I'll figure out how to achieve getting that transparency some time in the near future, but until then it's quite frustrating.

3rd person is just being difficult for me! Haha, but, it's the best choice for this MS so what's a gal to do?

On another note! I've got a job interview for tomorrow. Wish me luck :)