Feelin' Lonely

I should be starting my essay for my politics class but it's proving to be a bit difficult so here I am procrastinating. As the end of the semester draws closer and my return visit home (for the first time in over a year!) comes closer too, I often end up thinking about family and friends and all that good stuff. I try not to though, because often it ends up with me realizing how lonely it can be to live away from home. Sometimes that loneliness just strikes hard.

Having lived with my parents until my move to Japan for practical reasons, I previously thought I'd enjoy the solitude. After all, when my family wasn't home was when I enjoyed things the most. But even introverts get lonely. Hopefully this isn't new to anyone. As the days go by, often times with the only interaction I have being the few minutes here and there in classes and then maybe on the ride home with my friend who lives nearby. Once a week I get a 20 or so minute skype session with my parents, depending on how my shoddy internet wants to behave of course. And sometimes I'll get to chat with friends through skype when schedules allow it. It's hard to believe I ever disliked having all that interaction with people in my house.

It might be even harder to imagine just how someone can feel so lonely when they're living within one of the most densely populated cities in the world. But in a place like Tokyo, it's everyone for themselves and if you're lucky you'll get a whispered "excuse me" when someone steps on your foot on the train.

Days when friends send me lots of text messages always ease it, but on days like today where I haven't spoken to anyone except the cashier at 7-11 when paying bills... that's when I feel it the most.


Also, for anyone reading, if there are any questions about living in Tokyo or things like that, feel free to! It really is a lovely place, even if sometimes it gets me down.

It's Aliiiiiiiive! Hi again...

It's been officially two years since I've last been here. Boy have things changed! But, I'm trying to get back into the habit of blogging. It's a bit of a half-hearted return for now, but hopes it'll become like normal again. For those interested--which I can honestly assume isn't many after this long!--here's a bit of an update.

Biggest change of all: I up and moved to Tokyo to finish my bachelors degree. Let's just say it's a bit of an adjustment to move out for the first time and doing it across the ocean from home. Probably one of the biggest learning curves I've ever had. Probably would've helped if I'd improved my Japanese skill more before arriving, but alas.

So that happened roughly a year ago. Since then I've experienced many firsts that all people have to accomplish to become proper adults like the horror of discovering your milk sat too long and decided to start making cheese without your permission... Or learning how to do refrigerator tetris with your groceries because it's about the size of a five year old child... 

And then there are the other sorts of firsts like learning truly what humidity is. Nothing can compare to the Japanese summer at its height. It's the truth. I think the most disgusting day was about 98 (F) with 92% humidity. Which for those who are humidity virgins like I once was... it feels like it's about 105 (F) and you sweat from just standing outside.  Even more disgusting than the heat is the new set of life it brings about. The bugs.

Now, being a bit of a country girl back in the states, I'm confident in saying that most insects don't really bug me! But being from the nice and cool Pacific Northwest, I'd never had to deal with certain species of them. For anyone into anime, you know the cliche of the Japanese summer filled with the cicadas (semi in Japanese) chirping one loud chorus. It's true. Even if it's hot as the devil's balls, it isn't summer here until all you here 23/7 (they sleep about an hour a day it seems--I'm a light sleeper) are those dang cicadas going wee-wee-wee. If you want to hear for yourself, click here. Besides being slightly annoying they're mostly harmless, though I seem to attract them. Just a little shocking to have one swoop and land on your shoulder then scream in your ear. I just wanted to walk outside, Japan!

No. The one thing that really gets to me are the goddamned srgsnrungjserkfef ROACHES. 

Not only are they blasted fast, they're so disgusting. I shudder just thinking about it.

It hasn't been all bad, thankfully, despite the major adjustments. I've made a bunch of friends and grown into a person that I can be proud of even if the road to it was a bit bumpy. Japan got way more tears than I ever thought it would receive, that's for sure. 

I haven't been able to write much for anything, even though I wish I could. But I know my stories will be there for me when I'm ready to devote my attention to them properly. First things first; pass classes and graduate ASAP! 

I feel like I could blather on about a lot of probably useless things, so I'll leave it here for now. Hope to see you all soon! 

Long Time No See

It's been awhile since I've been on here and lots of things have changed. I did only use this blog for writing/my thoughts concerning that and the like, but now I'm going to be opening it up to include ...pretty much anything and everything I can think of.  While I'm not sure how exactly it's going to go, I hope you all can stick around with me :)

I will continue to talk about writing and my process and everything that entails, I just won't only be talking about it.

And here's a random sentence that makes absolutely no sense for you all!
The bobs plotter scratches beside the precedent.


Hope to see you all soon. :)

Rule of Three Blogfest: Part Two

This time I'm running truly late, but alas, life sometimes just makes what you want to do impossible. Hopefully I will be able to make rounds and comment on everyone else's posts soon! I hate not being able to see all your creativity out there! This time I chose the prompt where one of the characters is revealed to not be who they seem to be. If you missed it, check out the first part here. Enjoy!

               The clank and tinks of metal against metal blended with the pounding marches of one hundred caramel and chocolate colored feet. Dubhan moved with his men as their commander and their equal. The sun was on the horizon, painting the sky with the red of spilled blood and gold like the sands of their home. Of his daughter’s proper home.

            Having the crown princess disappear for thirteen years was completely unacceptable. Who would have thought she would be hidden in the worthless trading town of Renaissance? He certainly hadn’t. It was a spy that had been the one to inform him of the Schiav orphan the town currently housed.

            And now they would pay.

            His general clapped a large hand over his shoulder with a gentle grimace. A cut to the face had rendered him incapable of smiling three years ago.  “We will find her, my friend.” His weathered eyes smiled when his mouth could not. “He would not lie about such a precious thing.”

            Dubhan grasped his comrade’s hand and nodded, pausing in his steps to look down on the glittering town. These people—if they could even be called that—would regret tearing his family apart. His wife had never been the same after the princess had disappeared. He didn’t care how many houses he would ransack, how many fathers, sons and brothers he would kill. He and his men were going to find his precious Moirana.

            “You are sure we can trust this boy, Yoran?” A black gaze met his. “We have already damaged much in our searches.” Hundreds of towns and cities bordering the desert. They had checked every single one and had left the wreckage for the citizens to clean up.

            “We can trust him.” Yoran removed his hand to readjust the scabbier on his hip. “He will lead her to us. And keep her safe.”

            Safe? “You think they will harm her when we attack?” Blood surged through his body, racing like a sandstorm. If they dared lay a finger on her, no—if they even looked at her wrong he would gouge out their eyes before he snapped off their fingers. That was if he was feeling nice.

            “Calm, my king,” his friend said. He urged him to continue walking, and the rest of his army followed. Nothing like being persecuted could bind a group of people with the strings of eternity. “She will be safe. There isn’t any use in getting angry over things that won’t happen.”

            A sigh slipped from his lips. Dubhan stopped once again, this time turning to his men and holding his arms out. Their dull chatter halted. “This is our last town before we give up the search for our beloved princess.” The faces of the men fell. “But we will make it worth it. We will feast on their livestock, drink their beer and deface their homes if she is not there. We are Schiav! No one steals from us! And we will give them an example as to why.”

            The men cheered; raising swords, spears and anything else they could use to inflict fear and pain. “Go! Prove to those worthless men how fearful we truly are!”

            The sea of bodies parted just enough to go around him and Yoran, reconvening together in a mass of people trampling down the hillside. The sight warmed his soul like the sun.

            He and Yoran followed in their wake. “What is this man’s name again?”

            “Alexi,” he said. His voice remained calm despite their sprinting. “The spy’s name is Alexi.” 

In Which I Shamelessly Copy

Or Happy Birthday to my bestest friend in the entire world! (AKA Jessie)

In which I'm sure you'll read (at least at first) with a:

Not quite your disbelieving look, but it was the closest I could find. Forgive my lack of gif finding genius.

I could list on and on as to why you're basically the best other half that a person could ever have. I'm sure you know most of them, but I don't think it hurts to say a few, right?

1. You're one of the most passionate people I've ever met when you get going on a topic that makes you tick--in a good or bad way. You're opinionated and if you have a point to make you don't rest until it's been made.  And clearly.

2. You're cerebral in ways I can't compete with at the moment (perhaps when I graduate from university? We'll see.) And even though you could lord it over people, and I'm sure you've had moments where you want to, you don't.

3. You could put a Hufflepuff to shame with your loyalty, make a Slytherin gape at your cunning and bring a Gryffindor to tears with your bravery. (Though I'm positive you're a Ravenclaw in all the best ways.)

I could go on for quite awhile, but I think you'd rather keep it to a minimum. No matter what happens, I love you as my best friend, as the sister I've never had and always wanted and as the cousin I wouldn't want to live without. I hope our relationship continues to grow in all the best ways, and I hope I'll get to celebrate many more birthdays as well as a few book deals. :D

So Happy Birthday! Make it a good one and just relax. You deserve it. 

See, even Ron agrees.

Let's continue working on forever. :)

Rule of Three Blogfest, Part 1:

So, it's a bit late (sorry! I'm a slave to the school T_T) but here it is. This is my attempt at the "impending doom" prompt. Let me know how I did? Also, I wrote this thinking it was a bit more in the past--which you can probably tell but I wanted to say it out for sure! 

Moira gazed to the brilliant pink and orange sky, swinging a pale of water in her hand. A merchant eyed her as he passed in his caravan, face pinched and knuckles white from gripping the reins too hard. Of course. She turned to him and forced the corners of her mouth up into the semblance of a smile. He swallowed and slapped the reins against the horses’ rears.

                The travelers that came through Renaissance were unused to seeing her kind in the trading outpost. After thirteen years of experiencing the looks and distrust, she should’ve been used to it. Even by the towns’ people. It wasn’t like she had gained any of the habits of the Schiav, a tribe of gypsies, murderers, and thieves that lived in the Schiavona Desert. She’d been lost at the tender age of three when her brother found her.

                She slipped into her house, the first one on the Villein trade route. It was a modest little thing with a smaller room on the edge of the lot that they loaned out to travelers when the main inn was too full. Beef and potatoes tickled her nose, the sound of carrots being chopped caressed her ears. Mm. Her mother’s stew.

                “You wouldn’t believe how long it took them to give me the water, Mom,” she said as she stepped into the kitchen and let the bucket thud onto the counter. “Twenty minutes. Twenty.”

                “I’m sure the boys just wanted to flirt with you.” Her mother smiled and tucked a lock of Moira’s black hair behind her ear. “You’re growing to be such a beautiful woman.”

                A snort came from the doorway. “More like they wanted to be idiots and just ignore the fact that she’s a girl and concentrate on her skin color,” her brother, Sully, muttered and swept to the cupboards for a mug. Probably grabbing a beer.

                “Sullivan.” Her mother gave him a disapproving look—whether for the comment or the drinking Moira wasn’t quite sure. She’d never been fond of it, though she didn’t know why. “There’s nothing different with her skin, why do you always say things like that?”

                Moira shook her head and kissed her mother’s cheek. She thought that ignoring the difference and pretending it didn’t exist was the best way to deal with it. “Will dinner be ready soon?”

                “Yes. We’ve just got to let the carrots soften up and then we’ll be done.” Her mother smiled and wiped her wrinkling hands against her apron.  “Will you cut some bread for us?”

                “Of course.”

                Once her mother had danced out of the room, Sully snuck to get himself a lager and left her to deal with the rest of dinner. She sighed. Moira rummaged for an adequate knife and was about to start when there was a pounding on the door. She listened for her mother before striding to it and opening it.

                Alexi—the mayor’s son, and her best friend—panted against the doorframe. “Moira…”

                Worry clawed at her stomach. “Why are you so out of sorts?” Someone as fit as him shouldn’t be so out of breath. The town wasn’t that big.

                “The Schiav are coming—”

                Her eyebrows furrowed. “Wh—?”

       “—They say we’ve stolen their princess.”

Now to read all the other posts! I'm really excited to see how many stories there are out there. :D

Inspiration or Obligation?

I think I can safely say that, for most of us writers, we feel guilty when we aren't putting our ideas on paper (real or metaphorical). The moment you declare yourself a writer there's this urge to prove that yes, you can write a novel, thank you very much. And no, it's not going to take you thirty years to whip out a draft.

Some people write every day and they can crank out the beginnings of a masterpiece in a month. Their imaginations are a freaking machine. These are the people we're jealous of. Or would be if we let ourselves feel such envious things--or if we weren't already those sorts. (No need to be modest, machines! It's a good type of envy.) 


Others of us have the ideas, but don't have the inspiration. Or we've got the inspiration, but not the ideas. There's always something. But, no matter which way, we take a day off from the MS, perhaps even two or three, until the guilt eats through your insides.

And then comes the sitting in front of blank word documents, struggling to get out whatever we can. Waiting and hoping for the day when our machine moment will come.

Now that I've been working on a different story, I've had less of those obligation days and more inspiration days. I can't say I'm anywhere near being the mental wonder of certain writers, but it's definitely an improvement.

So, what kind of writer are you? Mental machine? Guilt-tripper? Or perhaps somewhere in between?

Also, is anyone else joining the Rule of Three blogfest? It looks like it's going to be fun~ Some of you machines out there could do this in three minutes. :P